ADHD and Decision Avoidance: What Finally Helped Me Stop Overthinking Everything

I used to spend 45 minutes trying to decide what to eat. I’d open the fridge, stare, close it, check an app, open the fridge again, ask a friend, Google “quick meals,” and then—after spiraling for way too long—I’d either order takeout or eat cereal for dinner.

It wasn’t just food. It was everything:

• Which task to start first
• Which shoes to wear
• Whether or not to RSVP to that thing
• If I should answer that text now or later
• When the “right time” was to take a break

Welcome to the ADHD decision spiral—where tiny choices feel enormous, everything feels like a trap, and your brain refuses to pick a lane.

If you’ve ever delayed making a decision so long that the choice made itself, you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not lazy, flaky, or indecisive by nature.

Let’s talk about what’s really going on when ADHD makes decisions feel impossible—and what actually helped me break the pattern without burning myself out.

Why ADHD Makes Even Small Decisions Feel Huge

ADHD doesn’t just affect focus—it impacts executive function, which includes decision-making. And when you combine that with overthinking, time blindness, and emotional dysregulation? You get the perfect storm for decision paralysis.

1. Working Memory Woes

To make a decision, you have to juggle multiple bits of info at once. ADHD brains struggle to hold those pieces in place long enough to compare them. Result: brain freeze.

2. Fear of Regret or “Getting It Wrong”

ADHD often comes with rejection sensitivity and perfectionism. We overthink because we’re afraid of choosing “wrong” and dealing with the emotional fallout—even for low-stakes stuff.

3. Time Blindness

Without a strong sense of time, we can’t tell how long a decision will take or how urgent it is. So we wait. And wait. And suddenly we’re late or missing out entirely.

4. Too Many Options = Brain Shutdown

ADHD brains don’t filter options easily. So even deciding what to wear, watch, or work on becomes a mental traffic jam.

ADHD Decision Avoidance Looks Like This

• Constantly asking others what you should do
• Postponing simple choices for hours (or days)
• Over-researching everything
• Starting something, then immediately second-guessing
• Avoiding choices altogether because it feels safer

It’s not that you can’t make choices. It’s that the process of choosing feels mentally exhausting. So your brain hits pause—or bounces around endlessly trying to find the “perfect” answer.

What Finally Helped Me Make Decisions With Less Stress

Here’s the truth: I didn’t fix this overnight. I still get stuck sometimes. But once I stopped trying to “just decide faster” and started working with my ADHD brain, things got way easier.

These are the exact strategies that helped me stop overthinking every little thing.

1. I Started Using Default Decisions

Instead of reinventing the wheel every day, I created a bunch of pre-decided choices I could fall back on.

Examples:

• Mondays = pasta night
• When I don’t know what to wear = black shirt + jeans
• If I’m stuck between tasks = do the shorter one first
• If I can’t decide what to eat = default to a smoothie

Default decisions reduce decision fatigue—and help your brain move instead of spinning.

2. I Gave Myself a “Good Enough” Rule

ADHD perfectionism makes us think every decision is high-stakes. But most of them aren’t.

Now I use this rule:

“If I’m 70% sure, I go for it.”

Not 100%. Not perfect. Just good enough to move forward.
This one shift saved me from so many hours of internal debate.

3. I Started Naming the Real Fear Behind My Avoidance

When I was avoiding a decision, I started asking:

• What am I afraid will happen if I choose “wrong”?
• What would I tell a friend in the same spot?
• Is this really about the decision—or about what it represents?

Half the time, I wasn’t afraid of the choice—I was afraid of judgment, failure, or disappointing someone.

Naming the fear helped me separate it from the task.

4. I Started Setting “Mini Deadlines” for Small Decisions

ADHD brains need urgency to take action—but not everything has a natural deadline. So I created my own.

• “Pick lunch in the next 3 minutes.”
• “Choose a task in the next 60 seconds.”
• “If I don’t decide by the end of this song, I go with option A.”

Tiny, artificial deadlines give your brain a reason to choose now instead of later.

5. I Gave Myself Permission to Re-Decide Later

Sometimes the pressure to “make the right call” comes from believing we’re locked in forever.

So I started saying:

“I’ll decide for now, not forever.”

It gave me the freedom to test choices instead of commit permanently.

Fun fact: Most decisions can be changed. Reminding yourself of that lowers the emotional weight.

6. I Used Visual Aids to Make Decisions Easier

When the options were swirling in my brain, I started writing them down. Seeing them on paper helped me process.

Tools that worked:

• Simple pros/cons list
• Sticky notes with options I could move around
• Two-column “yes/no” chart
• Decision dice (yes, literal dice for low-stakes stuff)

Externalizing the decision unclogs your mental bottleneck.

7. I Built Routines That Removed Decisions Altogether

Some decisions don’t need to happen at all.

So I built routines around things that drained me most:

• Same breakfast options every weekday
• Task batching (e.g. reply to all emails at 3 PM)
• Weekly grocery plan with repeat meals
• “Always say no to things that require a response within an hour”

Every routine is one less choice my brain has to make.

8. I Practiced Low-Stakes “Decision Sprints”

To build confidence, I started practicing quick choices in places that didn’t matter.

• “Pick the first playlist that sounds good.”
• “Say yes or no to this invite in 30 seconds.”
• “Choose your outfit in under 5 minutes—go!”

These mini reps helped me build tolerance for deciding quickly—without spiraling.

What I Do Now When I Feel a Decision Spiral Coming On

When I feel myself stalling, I use this simple reset script:

“Okay, I’m stuck. What’s the smallest decision I can make right now?”
“What would Future Me thank me for?”
“Do I actually need to decide now—or am I just afraid?”

Then I do one of the following:

• Pick the easiest option
• Flip a coin
• Set a timer for 2 minutes and choose before it ends
• Ask someone else to help me narrow it down

Not because I don’t trust myself—but because I trust the process.

What to Say to Yourself When You’re Overthinking

Here are a few mantras I use when I catch myself spiraling:

• “Done is better than perfect.”
• “It’s okay if this is messy.”
• “I can always change my mind later.”
• “There is no perfect option—just the one I choose.”
• “Overthinking is a habit, not a personality trait.”
• “Future Me needs movement, not perfection.”

Say them out loud. Put them on sticky notes. Use them as pattern interrupters.

Conclusion: You’re Not Indecisive—You Just Need a Better Way to Choose

If every decision feels like a mountain, I promise: it’s not a personal flaw. It’s your ADHD brain trying to protect you from overwhelm, judgment, and uncertainty.

You’re not broken. You’re not too much. You’re just wired to process decisions differently—and that means you need:

• Fewer options
• Lower pressure
• Simple defaults
• Self-trust over perfection
• And lots of practice without shame

Start with one:

• Pick a default dinner
• Use a two-minute timer
• Say “this is good enough for now”

You don’t need to overthink every path.

Sometimes the best decision is just making one.